As many a 4H and FFA kid know, there exists an organization called WWOOF (World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms) where one can travel the world or the country or the state where you live somewhat inexpensively through volunteering on a farm. With most hosts, working for a certain number of hours per week will grant you free accommodations and food, while obtaining hands-on experience in the field of agriculture, which is a pretty great deal.
But as someone who did not grow up in an agricultural club, I learned about this opportunity through Pinterest. I saw a post that said something like “Life hack!! You can travel the world on a budget if you volunteer on a farm!!” Described as part time work with amazing benefits and travel, WWOOF-ing didn’t sound all that bad.
Huh. I saved the pin to look at later.
For some context, the summer that I graduated high school (when this event occurred) my plans were initially to travel to Europe with my mom, but unfortunately plans changed (she got mad at me about something so my European adventure was revoked). It didn’t take me long, however, to pull up Pinterest, looking for that post about farming.
I loved gardening and knew how to pull weeds, so I made a profile and began contacting farms.
I was deciding between a few different hosts, one in particular with a well-established farm in Georgia that had an explosion of excellent reviews on their profile and hosts with kids my age. At last, I came to the conclusion that I wanted to volunteer my time with hosts that maybe didn’t get as much love and support (wrong decision Grace), so I settled upon a farm in a remote, yet still very beautiful, area in Idaho hosted by an older couple, thinking that I would be learning how to preserve fruit and I don’t know, bake pies (yes, these were homesteading activities listed in their description).
Soon enough, I was headed to a town in northern Idaho and was so beyond thrilled that I had the organizational and planning skills to succeed in setting this up for myself.
Beyond thrilled turned into not thrilled at all and also crying myself to sleep every night. It might have also been coupled with watching Dirty Dancing and sobbing on repeat (which I actually highly recommend if you’re sad because what can’t Patrick Swayze’s dancing fix?).
The first major red flag was that they forgot about me in a random town when I got off the bus. This town must’ve been inhabited by about 500 people, which I know because they stared at me as if I had blood all over my face when I got off the bus with my suitcase. And not in a 500 people cute and quaint, Gilmore Girls town kind of way.
I had recently emailed my hosts confirming my plans (and since this was a last-minute trip, it wasn’t long ago that all of this had been initiated – maybe a matter of weeks). Bff Karen (her name wasn’t Karen, but it’s fitting here I guess) supposedly “forgot” that I was arriving, even when I had called her multiple times earlier that day and left messages to inform her that I had made my way from the plane that landed in Spokane, Washington to the bus that would drop me off about 30 minutes from their home.
So there I was, sitting in a McDonalds for over two hours with my large pink lemonade while on the brink of tears. Karen had called me and said very nonchalantly that she forgot about my arrival (no surprise there), but she was “busy” doing something (maybe drugs) so she didn’t have the time to pick me up for a couple hours. A couple of hours? They lived thirty minutes away…. What kind of crack was this lady on?
Anyways, about two hours later, this random man named Larry (his name wasn’t actually Larry) picked me up. He was apparently a “nature photographer” who was staying with Karen and Randy (devoted husband to Karen, of course). That entire trip passed by and I didn’t see that man with a camera once. Not once! Opinions on what Larry was doing there? Running from the federal government? Karen and Randy did make a joke about that one time over breakfast. I still think about that to this day.
I’m not really sure how I would describe this property, but it bordered a famous lake in Idaho and was definitely…eclectic? There were solar panels on the roof (which I did appreciate) and naked statues scattered throughout the house (I appreciated those a little less).
Once I got to the house, I was greeted amicably, but with no mention of the fact that they forgot about me and left me in a town for two hours. I did get the privilege, however, of Karen and Randy telling me that – unlike what they had posted on the website – Larry would be getting the private room instead since he was their guest, while I would be sleeping outside in a tent. On a slope. I saw that coming.
Every morning I felt like I was waking up from one of those dreams where you’re falling off a cliff, except it was very much not a dream.
The work itself was…not what I would call farming? Also they said on the website that they had around 40 acres of land (and I guess I assumed that the majority of the 40 was dedicated to farming), but the farm itself was a garden that couldn’t have covered more than half an acre. They never gave me a tour of the property itself so I have no idea what was on the rest of it. What were you doing on the other 39 ½ acres Karen and Randy? (My mom and I have come to the conclusion that they had a meth lab, obviously).
Over the entirety of that stay, I cleaned out their food storage room (there were mouse droppings everywhere and my mom freaked out about the possibility of me contracting a disease) and found some…interesting things. For starters, there were a plethora of large mason jars filled with strange liquid that was claimed to be turkey broth in addition to turkey meat in their storage freezers.
It didn’t exactly look like turkey meat (it looked too large for that). Human meat? Most likely yes.
Okay, maybe it wasn’t human? It probably wasn’t human. I would hope not. Maybe I’m jumping to conclusions but – and hear me out – what if it was the wreckage from of a very human altercation regarding the illegal meth lab they were running? I don’t know, but there were a lot of dangerous looking farm tools in that shed.
During the next few days, I refilled large batteries with distilled water to power the house, cleaned the kitchen (partially because it was just really gross, not because I was asked to), set up makeshift drapes in the garden room to block an intense sun from heating up the house, but there was very little farming work, which was the intent of the trip. I did end up weeding the garden beds after explaining to Larry and Karen that contrary to what they were telling me, weeds weren’t good for your plants, even if they did partially function to prevent water evaporation. I also got yelled at for picking some unripe beets, but that might’ve been my fault.
The cool thing about WWOOF is that ideally, you don’t have to pay for the majority of your food nor do you have to pay for lodging. Those two things are provided by the host for your volunteering efforts unless explained otherwise by the farm profile. It makes planning a trip much easier when you don’t have to incorporate those two things.
That being said, I lost about 3 pounds on this trip, despite only being on this farm for 5 days (they had a scale in the bathroom and I had way too much free time).
At the time, I had been altering my diet, cutting out gluten, eggs, and dairy as recommended by the doctor I was seeing due to food sensitivities. I had talked to Karen about this ahead of time, as to make sure it would not be an issue instead of springing it on her. She had said that it was fine.
Lies.
Upon arriving, I was told that a diet like that was too difficult to accommodate (it really wasn’t) and so I barely ate anything the entire time I was there. I used to hate oatmeal, but it became my favorite food as it was the only thing to eat for breakfast and the only meal I would be eating for the next 12 hours before dinner. My mom told me that I looked skinny when she finally saw me after I left the farm. Karen did force me to eat a turkey egg one time though.
I should also mention that I was only there for…5 days? It felt like an eternity.
Ironically, Karen had a masseuse come to the house periodically to give her massages and this time, I was able to meet said masseuse. It was the first taste of physical contact from the outside world I’d had in days and I was ECSTATIC. Even more so, this lady told me that she had a son around my age who lived in town who would probably be interested in hanging out. She asked me what I was into and after I told her activities such as biking, hiking, swimming, etc. she said, “I thought you looked athletic. My son isn’t. He’s into a lot of paranormal stuff…have you ever been ghost hunting?” Whether or not I was deathly afraid of ghosts (yeah not a fan of paranormal activity) was besides the point. If this kid wanted to take me ghost hunting I would’ve done so with enthusiasm.
Things came to a tipping point the last night that I was there (which was over a week earlier than expected). I had been weeding the pea plants all day, which was probably the best thing that I did all week in terms of actual farming and it got me away from the house. Afterwards, I was planning on making dinner for everyone (lemon and garlic salmon, I was pretty good at it). Anyways, after making dinner and washing the dishes, since no one ever washed dishes in that house for some reason, Karen and Randy got into a yelling match.
The awkward thing about it too – other than the fact that my hosts were having a full blown argument – was that this fight was about me. In front of me.
Fortunately, I guess, it wasn’t something that I had done, but the fact that I had been there for several days and Randy still hadn’t taught me anything about agriculture. Although farms on WWOOF are all so different in terms of accommodations and experiences in general, I would highly recommend that you don’t go into it with any expectations because you might end up disappointed. But for the most part, WWOOF is supposed to be a teaching experience – you give your time and labor to a farm and they in turn, should be teaching you agricultural techniques and practices. Karen was upset that I was left alone all day and wasn’t doing what I had signed up for (me too Karen, me too). It’s the one thing that we both agreed on.
My mom heard about that little quarrel and freaked, so I got pulled from that farm the very next day before I even got to go ghost hunting, and I guess that’s where the story ends.
Later when I had to cancel on ghost hunting kid he said not to worry about it. Apparently he and his mom both got weird vibes from the hosts and were worried about leaving me alone. So I guess it wasn’t all in my head.
Also – wasps everywhere.
